why my life is so messed up

[sam70001]

you see at the time my mother was pregnant, my father gave her abortion pills to get rid of me. supposedly an intent to kill me cause she was throwing up, vomiting alot. this dumb idiot did this cause other told him to say it was ok. the fuck?
He had kept the truth from everyone until now, since he get drunk alot it wasn't hard to get him to confess. when you're drunk, you say alot of shit that you had done. i'm 30 now btw, i had nothing but hell...
i live only to see this truth, i have found what I want and I am almost done, well amost. still other are still unconvince as they thought it was some medicine for fever!!! WTF?
as that what he claimed at the time he did that crap... and lied to my mother... Now I will find way to make his life miserable, he is still alive btw but since no one know the truth some feel sorry for him for being alone and living with others and think I and him are alike and that both are just as equally bad. Not funny, liked fucked up... and since it his fault he should make it up to me but he never did cause he been lieing his ass off till now, well one day I just had a nosy question and that was it... never talk to him ever since and now have every reason to hate him which I could not find a reason to beside his drinking problem and abuse of others while being under the influence.
i am not normal, i ahve a serious memory loss, undeveloped brain that seem to forget so often that one can be so frustrating that killing self would only be the solution to this miserable life of not being able to function normal like others. Today I have no family, 30's and very depressed seeing how thing will never get better for me.
can't even remember much till i was like 9 years old, can you see how much he fucked me up? even so someone can remember better at 3 then I can at 9.

[jbyrd]

Dude, Sam...It'll be alright, man. You just hang in there.

Sorry to hear that your dad is such an ass.

I say fuck 'em. Don't go through life hating that asshole, just mark it off as something you can't change, and make the best of what you've got.

Don't know what else to say...just stick with it.